I Quit

I quit working. Finally, after many years, I don’t have a next on the work for pay list. Done. Three weeks ago was my last day seeing clients. I’m not missing work, or the schedule. I’m surprised by how quickly I can lose track of days. I’d like it not to matter at all what day it is, however, I do have appointments, whether with a doctor, for a massage or meeting a friend for a hike. Its good to show up when one has said one will.

Is quitting the same as retiring? Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t suddenly say “I quit”, and go storming out of my office, never to return, leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces. As a self employed individual, it doesn’t go that way. I gave my clients many months notice and did as much as I could to smooth their transitions. And yet, the end result is the same. I no longer am obligated to show up at the office on certain days and at certain times. This is a freeing feeling, and I sense an increasing desire for non-obligation. Quitting everything. Probably not realistic, but present. As I sit with this, I realize I’ve been or felt responsible for most of my life.

That’s what I’d like to quit, and I suppose the challenge is in readjusting my expectations and sense of obligation. Food for thought. A new project for my retirement. Not quit?