Wow, I’ve made it as far as U in the blogging from A to Z challenge. Well done me, for a first month of retirement adventure.
Urgent. I’m working on letting fewer and fewer things hit the category of urgent, or its horrible relative, emergent. I’ve never enjoyed feeling rushed, and after more than half a century of being beholden to a schedule, I’m even more inclined to take my time. That doesn’t mean I intend to be inefficient, more that I want to do whatever it is I’m doing (or not doing) for however long it takes and then move on to the next.
I like to avoid a sense of urgency and a need to hurry. Giving myself the time and space to do things. Of course things can change, emergencies do occur, and given my previous profession of physician, preceded by lifeguard, I can snap into high gear quickly if needed. After so much practice, I trust that if I need to, I can do it, and my nervous system is much happier when I’m not running around on high alert.
Years ago, a client of mine with challenging PTSD owing to a difficult childhood was talking about some issues in her life; some in her neighborhood, others with a business. I noticed that she kept using the word critical around situations. No wonder she was so stressed and couldn’t sleep–all the ordinary stuff of life was filed under “critical”. Over time, we worked together to become more aware of the language she was using, knowing that her nervous system, like everyone’s, was prone to believe her hyperbole, with a detrimental impact on the quality of her life. Things improved. I haven’t seen her for some years, so I don’t know how she’s doing, but I do hope she’s living easier, not responding jumpily to every horn or ringing telephone.
Just as my clients learned to watch their language, so did I. Its helped. And now I have more options on at least some of the situations in my life, and definitely a choice on how I meet whatever occurs. I’ll take my thrills elsewhere, thank you.
Curious Steph 
It’s amazing, the power of words. I have a friend whose work life falls into a pattern and he doesn’t realize that it is his expectations of himself that create the pattern, it’s not intrinsic to life, reality, work, anything. Words like, “I always sabotage myself,” mean he will ALWAYS sabotage himself. It’s crazy. I told him last year, “You would get a lot of benefit out of talking to a professional, not me. You don’t need catharsis by venting to someone who has known you for 28 years. You need an outside person with training to help you break the pattern.”
“I can’t break the pattern. It’s just how it is is with me, how I am.” So I figured he derives some kind of security from that and I shut up. But, of course, we had the same talk today. 🙂
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That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. In my previous professional incarnations I could ask people in that place if they were willing to be wrong about a given issue. Sometimes that would allow them to interrupt their habitual patterns.
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Wow. That’s brilliant. It’s very hard for this person to live with uncertainty and negative self-talk (which he can bring into reality) is certain but WHAT if he were wrong? I will try it…
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It always amazes me how much influence self-talk has on mood. I have had several rather urgent issues in the past couple of years — my self talk is “ok, that needs to be taken care of, how do I do that?”Somehow that seems to bring down the blood pressure and accomplish many solutions!
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Good way to put it. I find the more neutral I can be about things the easier it is.
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I’m so glad you’ve hung on on this challenge. I identify with many of your thoughts and feelings during your early days of retirement.
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Thanks, Lois, its worked out better than anticipated.
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You’re right, how we talk to ourselves makes a huge difference! It took me along time to really embrace that, and stop being so negative with myself.
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glad you figured it out, it does make a difference
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