Lucish, the Language

I’m back! Its me, Lucy One White.

Today, I’d like to tell you a little about my words. The best language is Cat, but as my Moms are not so good at understanding Cat, I’ve also learned their language. Of course, I’ve had to adapt and improve it for my purposes. Mama Steph says this is called a dialect, but what does she know, she thinks trimming my claw nails is a good idea. I say its called Lucish.

Some words you should know:

Demental: A thinking disorder that my moms show. They ask really dumb stuff, like if I want to help with a chore, or go to work or something like that. Cats don’t do chores.

Snickety: I say it means I have standards. It’s short for purrsnickety, which seems redundant.

Clawds: My best weapons, at the end of my toes. Sharp and lethal. I don’t never need them trimmed. Not the same as clods, which is dirt.

Mattresses: Also known as dreadful locks. Bunches of hair stuck together. If I wanted them out, I would take them out myself. Don’t need no stinking grooming!

Torturement: Things that are done on purpose to harm a cat. Cutting my clawds. Grooming my fur and pulling out my mattresses. Going in a wheeled vehicle. Going to the vet.

Cat Prisons: Boxes that lock from the outside that cats are put in when being transported for torturement. These are terrible. I hide if I see them.

Snack items: Short for Greenie snack items. I eat them every day, and they are important for good dental hygiene. I like other snack items, too.

Clompers: Big persons that make noises with their feet when they walk. I’m not real scared of them, but my brother Jules was very worried about them and would run real fast to hide.

Monsterds: Scary things that could harm a cat. Might have 4 legs like a dog, or could have 2, like a Clomper. Some of them can’t be seen but I Lucy know they are there anyway.

Sucker–Blower: A house thing that sucks and blows and could probably eat a cat. Mama Steph says it’s called a vacuum cleaner, but that’s silly.  There’s nothing in a vacuum, so it doesn’t need to be cleaned.

That’s enough words for now. I need to take my rest, and it will be snack time soon. Goodbye.

 
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